Question
My husband and I differ on the interpretation of Halaal and Haraam. It didn’t matter when we were living in Pakistan, but now that we have moved to Australia, after a few arguments and discussions, we agreed to stick to our own points of view: mine is that we avoid every kind of meat which is not sold as halaal and he claims that we are not eating meat on which any other name besides that of Allah has been taken, so it is ok to eat that meat. Hence whenever we eat out, I go for the ‘halaal’ options according to my interpretation, and he goes for all sorts of meat. At home, since he knows I will not consume meat from any other source but a halal shop, nothing else is cooked but what I would eat as well. When we go to someone’s house who does not know that I consume strictly halaal meat, I refrain from eating meat, and he consumes it since he thinks one should not hurt one’s hosts and the non-Muslims should not see Muslims as rigid, unbending.
Recently, we have been reading a lot of articles in newspapers regarding the drug esp. antibiotics used in the chickens which are not sold as organic. So all sorts of chicken which is sold in Pakistan as well and is not considered ‘desi’/organic is ridden with lots of harmful stuff which does not not lose its dangerous side effects when cooked. I am expecting our first child and recently after reading an article, this usually not-very-pleasant discussion started between us. He said that even if you are trying to shield our yet-to-be-born child from ‘haram’ chicken, you are still subjecting him/her to the harmful effects of halaal chicken which is full of these harmful antibiotics (you are probably well aware of the fact that chicken is considered the most unhealthy of all options nowadays because of the way it is ‘grown’ in poultry farms).
I have tried to find if we can get hold of halaal chicken which is organic but no success. It is not that I cannot survive without chicken that I am asking this question, I just want to know if eliminating chicken from my diet is the right way to go, or should I make a concession for my husband and accept his interpretation. He says that Allah is merciful and would know that this is not a healthy option. He is not forcing me to accept his point of view, but often I think that perhaps because I think I am right I should not be stubborn and arrogant about my point of view. That is why I seek assistance from someone I know who has more knowledge than I have. From what little I know from the Qur’an, I think I am on the right path. Both of us have the same goal but different ways of approaching it.
I just think that if one makes these seemingly insignificant concessions and bends rules to suit one’s needs, our kids are going to take more liberties and would bend more rules.
I am sorry about the long-winded question, but I hope you can help me decide whether I should change my stance or not.
Answer
There is only one exception to the prohibition of eating Haram food (i.e. meat of dead animals, flowing blood, pork, and animals slaughtered in the name of other than that of Almighty God) and that is when one is “driven by necessity” or “hunger” (See the following Surahs: 2:173, 5:3, 6:145, and 16:115). This, in my opinion, refers to a life and death situation. Even when one is in such a state, one should not eat more than necessary to stay alive and one should do so with an aversion to it in the heart. Therefore, unless you consider yourself in a life and death situation, you should strictly refrain from eating Haram food.
You asked:
I just want to know if eliminating chicken from my diet is the right way to go, or should I make a concession for my husband and accept his interpretation.
Unfortunately I am not an expert when it comes to knowledge of the harm in chicken. However, if you feel that it is harmful then I would say that it is best to avoid eating it altogether. You are clearly not in a life and death situation and therefore I do not think that eating haram food is the alternative. You also mentioned that you feel that your interpretation is correct and that your husband’s is not, therefore I see no point in you following his wishes in this matter. You should follow what you feel is right and if his interpretation didn’t convince you then you should refrain from following it.
You wrote:
but often I think that perhaps because I think I am right I should not be stubborn and arrogant about my point of view
If you feel that you are right and you fear that if you do eat haram food that you will be disobeying God and as a result you refrain from doing so even though he is displeased then I don’t think that you are being arrogant or stubborn. You are being a strong, honest and persevering Muslim and that is something encouraging. However, if you mean that you are presenting your views and dislikes in a bad manner then that is another matter. You should obviously explain it nicely. After having listened to different viewpoints, you must follow what you see as the truth.
You wrote:
When we go to someone’s house who does not know that I consume strictly halaal meat, I refrain from eating meat, and he consumes it since he thinks one should not hurt one’s hosts and the non-Muslims should not see Muslims as rigid, unbending.
If you see it as Haram then you are correct in refraining. There is nothing in the Shari’ah that gives us the permission to refrain from certain directives merely to please others. God is the one that deserves to be obeyed above all others. Furthermore, I think that refraining from eating Haram foods is a sign of honesty, dignity strength in faith, and perseverance in truth. These are good characteristics and should be upheld. If the non-Muslims that you visit are true friends, then they should actually admire this type of attitude. In the end, what matters is not what others think but what is right and true.
I just think that if one makes these seemingly insignificant concessions and bends rules to suit one’s needs, our kids are going to take more liberties and would bend more rules.
I agree; breaking rules like that would indeed be a bad example for the kids. What we need to do is build in them the desire to remain ever conscious of God and to firmly obey His directives. We can only achieve this if we ourselves are good role models.
I hope that I have been of some help.
In need of your prayers,
Hischam
May 24, 2004