My husband is a Muslim man…He washes every time that he uses the “facilities”, and requires that I do the same. I have no problem with this. I find that I like it. However, he now is insisting that I “douche” every night before bed… I am uncomfortable with this practice, and have read much against it… He claims that his Mother and sisters do, and that it is my duty to him, to remain as clean as possible… Please help me. I want to please my husband, but I don’t want to risk my health doing it. Is there a solution?
Washing after using the ‘facilities’ is a part of the Islamic law. The reasons are obvious and do not, in my opinion, need elaboration. However, ‘douching’ before retiring for the day – it may be a personal preference – is not a requirement of the Islamic law. If you do not feel comfortable with it, then I would suggest that you communicate your feelings to your husband.
Trying to “remain as clean as possible” is no-doubt a great virtue. However, matters in which the Shari`ah (the Islamic law) has not given a clear directive (as is the case in washing after using the ‘facilities’), the extent of what is ‘possible’ should be decided by the individual himself – not by someone else.
Whether or not regular ‘douching’ entails a health hazard is a question that should be addressed to someone qualified in the field (a physician maybe). If it does entail a health hazard then you must refrain from it, irrespective of your husband’s preferences.
The solution, in the light of the above explanation, is that it is your personal choice to carry on the practice or to discontinue it. The practice is not one directed by Islam. However, if you want to continue doing so, to please your husband, Islam does not object to it, provided there is no health hazard involved.
22nd March 2000