I am writing for some guidance on a dilemma. It is a long story but I’ve tried to make it as brief as possible and I have given details of the situation because I’m not sure how to pose this as a general question. Recently, my family met a Muslim convert through a website who was looking to get married. He became interested in a member of my family, she likes him too and they are soon to be married. However I have now found out that he has lied about some of his past. He claimed to have lost all his family in a car crash as a child and said he had been living alone ever since. It turns out that all his family are alive and he went missing in his home country and is in fact a registered missing person. His family are still looking for him and have posted various ads to try and locate him. All this happened way before he became Muslim so it was probably not the cause, I still believe he is otherwise quite genuine and I don’t doubt his marriage intentions but this lie has disturbed me. My question is should I tell his wife-to-be of this or not? I know that this may scupper their plans, cause a lot of problems and will please a lot of the bigoted people who are against their marriage. Also, he is not a very convincing or consistent liar and slips up occasionally, he may even tell her eventually so do I have a right to interfere? More importantly, considering the mental anguish they must be going through, do I perhaps have a moral duty to anonymously tell his family that he is alive and well without giving away too much information? I would be putting them out of their misery and they say that all they want to know is whether he is alive and happy so should I tell them? Is there a right thing to do here islamically? I would like this to be answered privately please.
This matter is not one related to religion; rather, it is related to the wisdom and foresightedness you are given by the Almighty. There is no easy answer in this matter. From what you have written it seems that you do not enjoy a close enough personal relationship with any member of this group of relatives to interject yourself in such a delicate matter. The reason I mention this is because you may not be privy to information that would be pertinent and even detrimental to the matter. It seems that you do not know why he has evaded his family and why he has chosen this path; not having knowledge of this could be placing him and his family as it stands now in potential harm. While I can appreciate your concern for his family, letting them know that you have information regarding him will further deepen your involvement; something you may not desire. There may be many good reasons that you can come up with for saying something regarding this matter but in the end you can never know what the outcome may be. The woman and man married each other on some basis, and whether this is revealed or not it may or may not impact them. In the end your sisterly concern is kind and seemingly rooted in earnestness, but the matter is of special concern to the inner-circle of this family. Any intrusion into this issue may cause negative reactions amongst the family members; even worse place you in antagonistic position with everyone. Whatever you decide base it on what is right and what is best. Do not allow the nature of knowing something drive you to say something that otherwise your wisdom would go against. Pray on this matter and whatever you decide may God be with you on it.
I hope I have clarified the issue.
God knows best.