I have a question: This friend of mine, she is about 17 years old and is starting college in a few weeks. Her parents want her to wear hijab. Actually, they are forcing her to and she says she tried it and feels very uncomfortable and doesn't want to wear it. Her parents tell her she is a bad person and well.. there is no choice for her. She has to wear it and they demand that of her. She is very depressed and I really want to know if her parents are correct in insisting her to wear hijab. I read the questions on the site, but this is about forced hijab.

Could tell me what you think?

Thank you again,

khudahafiz

As a premise, it should be kept in mind that parents are naturally responsible for the well being of their children. This is a well accepted fact. Islam only wants the parents to feel the importance and significance of moral and spiritual well being of their children, in addition to their physical well being. It is because of this reason that Islam requires of the parents to carefully provide their children with an environment which elevates positive values in them and cleanses them of any negative tastes and preferences.

In view of the stated premise, it would logically follow that careful parents would try to provide their children with an environment, which, according to their own understanding, is in consonance with the teachings of Islam. In this process, the parents may sometimes even force their children to live a life which is in keeping with their understanding of the Islamic teachings and directives. Although it is highly advisable for the parents to try to teach their children regarding the directives of Islam in a wise and a friendly manner, rather than extract forced obedience from them in every case - as the latter attitude can sometimes develop an aversion towards religion and its teachings in children - yet parents too, being humans, can sometimes act in a manner which may be considered unwise by others.

Just as not all teachers are equally effective, yet a good student should always try to learn all that he can from all his teachers, in the same manner, even if one disagrees with the opinions of one's parents and their method of implementing those opinions, one should try his/her best to try to live a life of compliance with their opinions, as long as one is dependent upon them.

I would suggest that you should very sincerely advise your friend to comply with her parents' desires, even if in doing so, she feels some discomfort. Don't forget to give her the assurance that if she tries her best to comply with her parents' desires, she would be infinitely rewarded for her excellent behavior during the life of this world as well as during the hereafter. The reward would indeed be much more than a mere recompense of the discomfort she feels.

I hope this helps.

Regards.

August 26, 2001