Regarding Muslim Marriage Ceremonies

It is the second time I am writing to you to ask you for some help. During first time your answer was very good in my opinion with your professional approach. So I decided to write to you once again hoping for your answer.

I am Christian (woman) and my fiancé is Muslim. We are planning to get married. I respect Islam very much, I am reading a lot about Islam trying to understand rules and nature of Islam.

But till now I couldn't find enough information about marriage. I mean I would like to know more about marriage contract in Muslim marriage. What is it exactly? What information should be written there? Could it be written in English? What are the duties and requirements for woman and man and their parents during writing down the marriage contract? Where a couple should sign the marriage contract? Is there a special place to do this, the special office or something similar? Are the witnesses of marriage necessary during the marriage (like during Christian marriage)? Is the marriage contract different if the woman is Christian?

And another subject I am very interested in is the Islamic wedding ceremony. Where the wedding ceremony takes place, in the mosque (like in Christianity in the church?) or only in the appropriate office? How the wedding ceremony differs if the woman is Christian? What are the obligations and requirements or customs from the Muslim tradition related to the man and woman and their parents when they arrange the whole wedding and the wedding ceremony? Who should take care of the wedding ceremony?

And final subject, I'd like to ask you if after marriage with Muslim man, Christian wife has the same legal rights as Muslim wife or there are any differences?

Really these things are very important for me and I didn't know who to ask about it. And I would appreciate of any of your suggestions.

Reply

Before coming to your specific question, I would like to explain the basic directives of Islam regarding marriage. Please keep in mind that the directives regarding marriage are the same irrespective of the religious affiliations of the wife.

The basic necessary ingredients that must be present in a marriage, according to the directives of Islam, are:

1. Marriage should primarily be a contract that materializes from the expression of the intent of a man and a woman to live the rest of their lives as husband and wife. This contract should be based on the free consent of the man and the woman. In other words, Islam does not recognize a temporary contract (i.e. a marital contract for a specified period of time) or one based on coercion and force as marriage.

2. There should be a general declaration of the marriage in the society. In other words, Islam does not recognize a secret marital contract. The declaration of the marriage may take any shape or form that is generally adopted in the society. For instance, inviting friends and relatives to the marriage ceremony is an acceptable method of this declaration. Holding two or more persons as witnesses to the marriage contract is also a legislated method for such declaration adopted in various societies and cultures.

3. The man should give a mutually agreed upon amount as what the Islamic Shari`ah (law) terms as ‘Mehr’ to the woman. The factors that may be considered in the settlement of the amount of ‘Mehr’ include the financial position and the social status of the man and the woman. A woman may refuse marriage merely on the basis of the fact that she considers the amount of ‘Mehr’ to be inadequate. ‘Mehr’ is a basically a token from the man, given to his wife, to express and symbolize the fact that he is willing and capable to fulfill the financial responsibility of the family that would be formed subsequent to the marriage contract. It may be mentioned here that although Islam does not prohibit a woman to take up a financial activity of her choice, yet puts the ultimate responsibility of providing for the family on the husband.

Keeping these basic directives of Islam in perspective, let us now focus on your specific questions. Regarding the contract of marriage, you ask:

What is it exactly? What information should be written there? Could it be written in English? What are the duties and requirements for woman and man and their parents during writing down the marriage contract? Where a couple should sign the marriage contract? Is there a special place to do this, the special office or something similar? Are the witnesses of marriage necessary during the marriage (like during Christian marriage)? Is the marriage contract different if the woman is Christian?

The answers to these questions follow:

• The marriage contract, besides any other information that may be required by the state in which the marriage is taking place, should stipulate points 1 and 3 given above.

• The marriage contract can be written in any language. It would however be more prudent to write the marriage contract in a language, which is easily comprehendible to both the man and the woman.

• No specific responsibilities of the man, the woman and their parents except to sincerely try to make the play their respective roles in making the marriage a success and to offer their sincere prayers for it.

• The couple can sign the contract anywhere. However, as stated earlier, this should preferably be done in the presence of family and friends. In this way, not only the second condition given above is fulfilled, but also the family, the friends and all the well-wishers of the couple can join in with their prayers for the happiness and well being of the couple.

• Informally speaking all those present are witnesses of the marriage. As far as the number of formal witnesses is concerned, it should be according to the legislation of the state. Islam does not have any objection to it.

• There is no difference in the contract when marriage is taking place with a Christian woman.

Regarding the marriage ceremony, you have asked:

Where the wedding ceremony takes place, in the mosque (like in Christianity in the church?) or only in the appropriate office? How the wedding ceremony differs if the woman is Christian? What are the obligations and requirements or customs from the Muslim tradition related to the man and woman and their parents when they arrange the whole wedding and the wedding ceremony? Who should take care of the wedding ceremony?

Islam does not give a detailed directive regarding the legislation for wedding ceremonies. The ceremony should however be according to the generally accepted decent and somber norms of the society. Ceremonies that are extravagant and pompous in nature are not recommended in Islam. Islam prohibits wasteful spending of money. Thus, these ceremonies should be simple, yet in keeping with the decent traditions of the society.

The wedding ceremony can take place anywhere. During the days of the Prophet (pbuh), the mosque was not just a place of worship but had also acquired the distinctive position of a community center for the society. As a natural corollary marriage ceremonies generally took place in mosques. However, holding a marriage ceremony in the mosque is not a legal requirement.

The ceremony can be financed by either of the two parties depending on their financial position. Although, it is recommended that the husband should take the responsibility, yet a contribution from the wife’s parents (or even taking the complete responsibility) is not prohibited.

Finally you have asked:

I'd like to ask you if after marriage with Muslim man, Christian wife has the same legal rights as Muslim wife or there are any differences?

There is absolutely no difference of ‘rights’ of a Muslim or a non-Muslim wife.

I hope this helps. In case any aspect of your question remains unanswered or inadequately answered, please feel free in writing back to me at your own convenience.

May the Almighty guide us all to the path of His liking.

My fondest regards and sincerest wishes.

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