Difference of Opinion with Parents…
I am in utter confusion at the moment. And I hope you can help me solve my problems in the light of the Islamic Laws and quotation from the Holy Qur’an as a sign of evidence. I have just got my A-level results and I had been intending to do my medicine. Unfortunately, I have been unable to get the right grades to get into any medical school. As I have mentioned I live in Pakistan. And the medical education conditions in my country are poor except for a few universities. I did a little research work and asked a lot of doctors about their advice concerning my future plans. Being a British Passport holder I have intended to continue my education in England considering the complications I would have to face in the country I am living in. If I do go to England I would have to repeat the final year of my A-levels and then apply for medicine there. My parents would love me to study in England for medicine but are afraid I would not be able to come up to the mark and might fail again. I am afraid that if I do go to England, I would be doing something Un-Islamic. My basic question is that is it all right to do something in our lives even if our parents don’t feel nice about?
Brother I would greatly appreciate it if you could send me the answers to my problem as quickly as possible..!
Thank you
Reply
Before answering your specific question, I would first like to briefly state that I do not agree with your opinion about the position of going to England for your studies. You write: “I am afraid that if I do go to England, I would be doing something Un-Islamic”. I really do not see any basis of considering going to England or any other country, for your studies or even in search of a better career to be un-Islamic, in any way.
As far as your question regarding doing something in one’s life, which is against the approval or recommendations of one’s parents, it should be remembered that the basic duty that a person has toward his parents is to deal with them in the best of manners. This does not imply that one should live his life, according to the directions of the parents, it only implies that even in case of a difference of opinion, one should never raise one’s voice against his/her parents or talk to them or treat them in a manner, which, in anything less than the best. As far as decisions regarding one’s personal life (such as the decision regarding one’s career, or that of one’s marriage or the like) are concerned, it is not obligatory for the individual to submit to the opinion or the directive of one’s parents. The prerogative in such matters lies with the individual himself. In case of a difference of opinion in such matters, it should be the parents, rather than the individual, who should give in and accept the decision of the individual. Nevertheless, in case the individual fails to resolve his difference of opinion with his parents, Islam still wants him/her to remain extremely polite with his/her parents; to deal with them in the best of manners and to avoid saying even a harsh word to them. However, Islam does not stop the individual from carrying out his own decisions in his life, even if such decisions are not fully approved by his parents.
I hope this helps,
Regards,
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