Question
Asslam-Alikum, I am writing from N.Y, USA. First of all, I appricate your work of helping all muslim brothers and sisters. Now I have two questions. 1) Is there any specific time to give sadqa or zakaat or you can give it anytime you want to? 2) I am in love with a muslim guy and he loves me too. We both know eachother for more then 4 years. We both want to get marry. My parents really don’t like this and they want him to get educated and find a good job as all parents do. He cant go to college because of some problems. I can’t live without him because one we had a relationship already and I am scared of whatever I did. So I want to marry him also I love him so much that I can’t even think to live with another guy. I think if I marry someone else with my parent’s choice, then this will be cheating with my new husband because I can never forget my love. So please recommend me if I should listen to my parents and marry someone else, or make my parents listen to me and marry my love. It is like impossible for me to forget him. also I can never think of another guy while I already had a relationship with him. Please help me fast. thanks.
Allahs Hafiz
Answer
Both Sadqa and Zakat could be given during any time of the year. As it regards your love interest you obviously appreciate that you have committed a grave sin. Your parents seem to be suggesting a wise path to take, however, you have involved yourself in something that may affect you for the rest of your life. I would suggest that you give yourself a break before making any decisions regarding marriage. Surely your parents want what is best for you. An educated man with a job is typically a person who is responsible and because of the steps he has taken thus far he would be more apt to handle his role as a husband. A man that does not have a job or for some reason cannot get an education is not the mark of a person who achieves. In this case you have to take a real hard look at yourself. This does not mean ask your heart about how you feel, rather, think about the future. Think about yourself and your children and what type of life you want them to lead. Though I am not trying to devalue the “love” you feel for this person you should know that feelings sometimes come and go. Maybe it seems unimaginable right now but with some real deep soul searching you may eventually realize that your future could be in jeopardy. You really need to ask if this person is able to take care of you. Or if he is even willing to marry you and if he is then what how will he provide for the both of you. What jobs will he seek without an education? Whatever the “relationship” you had with him you should ask God for forgiveness. Pray and keep close to God; closer than anyone or anything. Your parents are not likely willing to allow a marriage that is not in your best interest, trying to convince them may cause more harm than good. This is your future you are setting up, one day you will either look back gladly for making the right decision or you will look back sorrily. The decision is really in your hands. Pray to God that you make the right decision and ask Him for help.
I hope I have clarified the issue.
God knows best.