Question
I am seriously considering conversion to the Muslim faith. My husband is aware of this and doesn’t want me to, but I feel that I must. He has already proclaimed his dislike for Muslims. He also doesn’t want me to include my 6-year old son in the decision. My question is: Should I remain married to him, if and when I convert?
Answer
Your question needs to be considered from two separate standpoints. Firstly, whether the Islamic Shari`ah (i.e. the Law) allows you to remain married with your husband, who ascribes to a faith different from Islam; and secondly, whether it is practically possible for you to remain married to your husband.
As far as the directives of the Islamic Shari`ah are concerned, they do not expressly require you to seek separation from your husband. In other words, the Islamic Shari`ah is silent about the status of an existing marriage after the wife converts to Islam. In view of this silence of the Shari`ah, there seems to be no ground to consider such a marriage as automatically repealed or prohibited to continue. Thus, in my opinion, the Islamic Shari`ah does not require you to seek separation from your husband.
As far as the second standpoint is concerned, a decision in this regard has to be made by the individual concerned. You will yourself have to decide whether it is possible for you to live a comfortable life and maintain a congenial atmosphere in the house, while living as family. The response of your husband, which you have mentioned in your question, could be an initial emotional reaction to your decision, which might subside in time. If you feel that your husband’s state of mind has changed considerably to allow you maintain a healthy atmosphere in your home, you may continue living with him. However, if, on the contrary, you feel that his negative bent toward your decision has only increased in intensity over time and that living with him, you are not allowed the freedom of practicing that which you hold to be true, then you may be left with no other option but to seek separation from your husband.
May God guide us to the path of His liking.
16th July 2000