assala-o-alaikum, blessings of God on us all, my question is a bit different. In fact it’s regarding my personal prob. I would like to ask in detail so please bear me out. I liked one lady . She was educated and well mannered .I had talked to her and was convince that she is the one I was looking for in my life. The only problem she has is that she has limp in her hips. But that has not effected het in day to day life. She is as confident and physically fit as anyone else can be. So I talked with my parents regarding my marriage with her. But my parents refused. I tried my level best to convince them but they never agreed. I am 29 years old and she is one year younger than me. As I said them that I would marry my self they started looking for some one else and meanwhile said me that I have gone selfish and disobedient with them. My mom said that she want his child back. And when I asked that I am their child they said then marry where they want. I refused but then they threatened me of cutting off from the family. I never wanted to be the one who causes troubles to his parents. But I was convince that I should marry the one I like ‘cuz she had many plus points including beauty and her thurst for Islam. Last month my parents came to me and took me along to some of our old relatives whom I never knew. There they arranged my meeting with their daughter. I did not liked her and said the same to my mother. We came back from that place. But as we reached back my mother started saying that it is matter of their respact now and you have to amrry. Inspite of my refusal they kept pressuring me for that and then they arranged my nikkah. Even I was not ready from my heart I could not say no just becouse I could not see my mother angry and have never said them no. Then last month I took that girl in nikkah. But once I came back I realizd that I have done a big mistake becouse I dont like her and I wont never accept her as my wife. My parents know this that I am not happy but they say that I will be all right with the passage of time. But I want to divorce her as I know that I would do that at some later stage. Then on one day I swore on Quran that I would divorce her and would marry the one I liked. I dont want to spent my life in pain and as I am living now. I just want to ask that if I do so am I disobeying my parents becouse I dont want that I should hurt my parents . Does Islam not allow marrying with our on choice. Does parents have that much rights on our lives that they deciede about our future married life knowing fully well that thier sons are not happy on it. What are my rights being a Muslim and what are my bounties of independence? Where I stand now.I really want to get out of this trouble becouse I am unable to move a single step on the track my parents have choosen for me .Please guide me. Thanks
Honoring ones’ parents is behavior and a mindset that is cultivated by Islam. Parents deserve the respect and adoration of their children as a natural right. However, even with this deep love and regard for ones’ parents it should be clear that fulfilling their wishes must be within reasonable limits. In your case, your parents are unfortunately mistaken. Indeed Islam does allow you to marry the appropriate person of your choice and it does not give your parents the right to stop you from marrying who you want. I have provided you with links that may help you understand better and give you a more in depth explanation regarding these issues.
Lastly, I would like to bring your attention to an important issue that you may have overlooked. You married a person whom you had no attachment to. In your fervor to please your parents you involved another person into your unfortunate situation. Other than just thinking of your rights and your parents’ rights you have an obligation to the young lady you married. Her feelings must be acknowledged and respected. Although you may have made a mistake I would urge you to consider her welfare and treat her right as she was merely a victim of your quarrel with your parents. My humble suggestion to you is that if you have not consummated the marriage then divorce the young lady in a dignified manner to her. However, if you have already consummated the marriage then I would strongly recommend that you give the marriage a chance. A sincere effort on your part may result with a good outcome. After all she may not have been aware that the marriage was based under duress. May God lead you to the right decisions in life and help you from hurting any loved ones and those near you.
Please see the following links?
I hope I have clarified the issue.
God knows best.