Our children do not have to choose between their heritage and France

At a time when school bags are filling up, timetables are frozen and a new school year begins, a question deserves to be asked of parents: what are we really going to pass on to our children? Notes? Diplomas? A social success?

Of course. But not only that.

Above all, we must transmit to them confidence, a sense of responsibility, respect for others, the ability to recognize their mistakes and the strength to remain standing when the world puts them to the test.

The 2026-2027 school year can be an opportunity to remind ourselves of this essential responsibility.

Our children are an amana

In Islamic tradition, the child is a amâna : a deposit entrusted by God to his parents. This notion goes well beyond the obligation to feed, clothe or educate. It forces us to question what we are building in the hearts and minds of our children. The Quran reminds us: “ And command prayer to your family, and be constant in its performance. » (Quran 20/132).

This responsibility is exercised today in a particularly complex environment. Our children are growing up in France. They are at the crossroads of several influences: their family, school, their friends, social networks, popular culture and, sometimes, contradictory discourses on what they should be.

Some people experience discrimination or stereotypes. Others wonder how to reconcile different dimensions of their identity. Some still silently raise questions to which we, parents, do not always have the answers.

Our first duty is therefore perhaps not to give them all the answers. It’s about teaching them to ask the right questions.

Transmit without enclosing

We want to pass on to our children our faith, our culture, our history and our values. It’s legit. But transmitting does not mean confining. A child should not have to carry their parents’ wounds, respond to society’s prejudices, or become the repository of all their worries.

Our heritage must be a strength for him, not a burden. This is why we must allow him to build his own path, with solid roots and an open mind.

Our children do not have to choose between their heritage and France.

They can be deeply attached to their faith, their family and their history, while being fully French. They can love France, participate in its collective life, respect its institutions and contribute to its future without having to erase what they received from their parents.

Identity is not necessarily a territory where you have to choose a side. It can be a space where several heritages meet and are enriched.

Teach them to respond without hatred

Our children will sometimes encounter injustice. They may be confronted with discrimination, prejudice or hurtful words. We obviously have to teach them not to accept the unacceptable. But we also need to teach them how to respond to them.

Anger can be legitimate. Hatred builds nothing.

Resisting injustice without dehumanizing the person facing us is a strength.

Defending one’s dignity without denying that of others is a strength. Knowing how to say no without becoming unfair yourself is a strength.

This is also education.

Success isn’t just measured in grades

We live in a society that highly values ​​performance. Very early on, children learn to compare themselves: general average, ranking, orientation, diploma, profession.

We have to encourage them to succeed, of course. But we must remind them that their value is never limited to a report card.

A child who learns to persevere after failure learns something essential.

Anyone who knows how to ask for forgiveness learns something essential.

Anyone who reaches out to an isolated comrade learns something essential.

Anyone who recognizes that he was wrong without making excuses learns something essential. In the prophetic tradition, the quality of behavior occupies a central place. A statement attributed to the Prophet (PBUH) confirms this: “No father has given his child a better gift than a good education. » (Reported by At-Tirmidhī and Aḥmad). Knowledge is precious. But knowing it without adabwithout fair and respectful behavior, remains incomplete.

History also offers us inspiring examples. Imam Mālik’s mother, aware of the importance of ethical behavior, said to her son: “Go to Rabīʿa – a great scholar of the time – and learn his behavior before his knowledge. » The lesson deserves to be heard again today.

What our children will remember about us

We talk a lot about what our children need to learn.

But a question is perhaps more difficult: what do they see in us?

We can ask them to respect others while speaking contemptuously of those who are different.

We can ask them to control their anger while yelling when we are upset.

We can ask them to have confidence in themselves while telling them that they are never good enough.

We can ask them to love their heritage while passing on our own fears to them.

Education rarely begins with a speech.

It begins with example.

An encouraging word can change the way a child views themselves. An attentive presence can give him the courage to talk about a problem he kept to himself. Conversely, repeated humiliation or permanent comparison can leave wounds that the best academic achievements will not be enough to erase.

So, at the start of the school year, let’s ask our children not only: “What grade did you get?” »

Let’s also ask them:

” How are you ?

“What made you happy?” »

“What hurt you?” »

“Is there anything you need to talk to us about?” »

And above all, let’s take the time to listen to the answer.

Educate citizens, without renouncing our convictions

Being a Muslim parent in France today is not about choosing between transmitting your faith and integrating into society.

It is about preparing children capable of living fully in this society, of bringing the best of themselves to it and of exercising their citizenship with responsibility.

We can transmit spirituality to them without teaching them to withdraw.

We can pass on to them pride in their heritage without teaching them contempt for others.

We can teach them to stand up for their rights without harboring resentment.

We can teach them to be proud of being French without asking them to forget where they come from.

The Quran reminds us: “The noblest among you, in the sight of Allah, is the most pious. » (Quran 49/13). Nobility is measured neither by status, nor by wealth, nor by academic results. It manifests itself in ethical behavior, justice, kindness and responsibility.

It’s up to us to begin

Back to school should therefore not only be a new start for our children. It can be a new beginning for ourselves. Let’s take more time to listen to them. Let’s encourage their efforts rather than just celebrating their results. Let us be interested in their friendships, their doubts, their dreams and their difficulties. And above all, let’s ask ourselves every day if our own behavior corresponds to the values ​​that we wish to transmit to them. Because we are not only preparing our children to succeed in a school year.

We prepare women and men to live together.

Women and men capable of being faithful to their convictions without rejecting those of others, proud of their heritage without making it a boundary, aware of their rights but also of their duties. Women and men who will not consider France as a place where they simply have to find their place, but as a society to which they also have something to contribute.

This is perhaps, ultimately, our responsibility as parents: to give our children roots deep enough to know who they are, and wings big enough to meet the world.