The spiritual path, a path of disillusionment

Reliance and the ego

The spiritual path is a path of connection but also a true inner jihad which includes psychological work allowing one to move from the self towards a broader consciousness. In spiritual circles, all faiths combined, we often talk about “killing the ego”. We then try to flush it out, but is this the right method? Can we really get rid of it? Is this desirable? Our demonstration does not aim to psychologize spirituality or vice versa, but to question the importance of psychic work in the spiritual journey.

The psychological dimension

What is the ego? In psychoanalytic terms, we favor the term “me” rather than that of ego. As J. Lacan proposes, the self can be defined as an imaginary structure, woven from our representations of the world and the other (understood as another human being). For Lacan, “the self is constituted in fundamental alienation in the image of the other”.

This means that it is an imaginary instance, constructed by the gaze of the other and by social identifications and representations. In the psychotic, the self is fragmented and no longer holds together, hence the loss of contact with reality and with others. This example illustrates the importance of the self in maintaining mental health.

The ego therefore allows us to be in touch with others and to recognize ourselves as a person. It constitutes, in a certain way, the backbone of our psyche. Our social interactions and our psychic life are thus conditioned by this self and its mirror effects.

The initiatory work in the Muslim tradition consists of gradually removing these layers of illusions, removing the veils that hide the absolute divine Reality (al-Haqq). When he has reached a certain stage, the journeyer may think he has liquidated his ego and found enlightenment; which is sometimes an illusion, as we will see.

Islamic tradition

Having established these theoretical postulates, let us now reflect on what is at stake on the spiritual path.

In the Islamic tradition, the ego is referred to as al-nafsdistinct from rûhwhich represents a higher stage of the human soul. The ego is a veil that hides al-Haqq. The term nafs can thus be compared to the notions of ego or self, more anchored in the psychological field.

The Quran mentions different states of the soul:
– al-nafs ammâra : the dark soul, which gives itself over to evil;
– al-nafs lawwâma : the soul that does evil but regrets it;
– al-nafs muṭmaʾinna : the soul pacified and soothed.

Khaled Bentounès extensively details these different states of the soul in Soul therapy. He argues that the realization of being occurs after crossing the cycle of these states to reach the peaceful soul. It is therefore not a question of destroying the ego, but of pacifying it in order to open the path towards rûhmore spiritual dimension of the soul. As a saying attributed to Al-Ghazâlî recalls: “The nafs is a tyrant when he commands, but a useful servant when he is controlled. »

Why talk about a tyrant? Because the ego is cunning. He knows how to pretend to be what he is not in order to ensure his survival. Interface between us and the world, it seeks above all to preserve psychological integrity and to avoid suffering. It can even give the illusion of having been transformed and calmed. The spiritual path can thus become a means of avoiding suffering, idealized to the point of making introspection more difficult.

Spirituality then becomes a parade to avoid one’s own psychological fragilities: this is what we call the spiritual ego.

The spiritual ego

Some people thus take the spiritual path as an escape route, while believing they have liberated themselves. The ego then changes form: more discreet, it nevertheless continues to pull the strings. He adorns himself with virtues, makes himself the defender of spiritual values ​​– love, brotherhood – not out of hypocrisy, but out of illusion.

This illusion does not only concern the relationship with the outside world; it is also part of introspective work. The individual can no longer truly meet himself. However, there is no meeting without a path: meeting each other implies welcoming all our parts, including our gray areas made up of unspeakable desires, destructive impulses and aggressiveness.

Some people who have developed a spiritual ego present a social appearance consistent with the image of the journeyer: discourse on love, spiritual activism. But when an intimate relationship occurs – especially a romantic encounter, where no one can cheat for long – the structure cracks. Two options then present themselves: flee or face the illusion of being spiritually accomplished, relationally accomplished and self-sufficient.

Love comes precisely to summon us to the place of our faults. As Lacan says, loving consists of giving to others what we do not have: our lack. This lack is original, constitutive of the human being, and constantly pushes us to seek to fill it, whether in a romantic relationship or in the quest for the Divine.

There is no spiritual work without work on the ego, nor without going through suffering. The ego can even become an indispensable point of support in this process. It is a movement of stripping and dis-identification: what we call “me” never exhausts the totality of our being.

In our opinion, true access to the Divine supposes having gone through the experience of lack and recognizing what is small and miserable in us. It is through this movement that, like an alchemist, we can transform psychic mud into love.

The spiritual path is therefore not a path of comfort or gratification, contrary to what some personal development can promise. It is a demanding journey, which requires renouncing self-idealization in order perhaps, one day, to touch upon the truth of being and the divine light. This is why this path requires real support and sincere companionship.

Hanane BOUMAIZA

Clinical psychologist

Psychotherapist