This Ramadan 1445/2024 which is going away…

This month of Ramadan which is passing away, as this face of the Moon signals to me which I cannot prevent from disappearing from my sight, arouses in me the fear of having lost the opportunity to be forgiven by You, الغفور (Al Ghafûr), الغفّار (Al Ghaffâr), الغافر (Al Ghâfir), العفو (Al 'Afuww, الرحمن (ar rahmân), الرحيم (ar rahîm), and none other than You, my sins as numerous as grains of sand and which repeat themselves!

Just as it leaves me in the hope of having won for having tried to bring myself closer to You, by refusing, as best I can, the prison grip of my passions.

Through a fast that is far from perfect, I know, even if I wanted it with all my being, I tried to learn to protect myself from anything that could arouse, on my part, Your wrath and 'to live up to the promise that You associated with the fasting of the month of Ramadan, namely, Taqwa (reverential fear).

I have talked a lot about fasting like others, when what matters is what it is intended to do with me through Your mercy and wisdom, all of which is good for me.

What He taught me to be, God-fearing, godly, will I be? Will my spiritual state evolve towards Taqwa? If so, I will be deeply grateful to You and You alone, if not, please You to protect me from it, it would only be my fault and me alone, weak, negligent, forgetful and carefree that I am. And this sublime last decade of the blessed month of Ramadan which will not return until twelve lunar months!

And this mysterious “laylatul qadr”a blessed night (laylatun mubarakah) of the nights, a night which is better than a thousand months in cultic value and during which, the angels (peace be upon them) descend to earth wave by wave, without forgetting that they are beings of light! This night reminds me of the urgency of letting myself be guided by the Koran, so much so that I have allowed myself to be guided by it and I allow myself to be distanced from it by the tinsel of the world and by Satan the deceiver.

However, I know by the knowledge of the heart that only Your word can take me out of darkness and lead me towards the best here below and Bliss in the beyond.

I will try to remain faithful to what You wanted to help me to be by prescribing the practice of fasting. But, alone, I will not succeed. Only You can help me and I beg You to do so. I know that nothing and no one can impose themselves on You, but that You are sensitive to invocation as befits Your greatness, You Who listen and Who respond favorably to those who try to stay on the right path and invoke You .

I told myself that fasting is like a pole that You have extended to me so that I escape spiritual drowning, that I draw closer to You and hope to live close to You, in the paradisiacal happiness which has no END. I tried to grab this pole with all my frail strength, without being sure that I was holding on to it in the way You wanted, so that You would be willing to pull me towards You.

O Allah, Wise and Merciful that You are, the time You have allocated to this blessed month of Ramadan 1445 in lunar years, from the Hegira, is approaching its end of 29 or 30 days.

But I want to remain Your faithful servant, not the servant of the month of Ramadan or a servant only in the month of Ramadan, You who have no term, until the term You have set for me. It is Your help that I implore with all my being, to never forget to remember You and to be grateful to You in everything and forever.

Nothing pleases me more than Your guidance, Your love and Your forgiveness. Considering my shortcomings and these sins that I commit without liking to do it, without finding an ounce of joy in it, it's quite the opposite, I fear the fate that will be mine, but I would like to console myself in knowing that You know that with You I am satisfied.