Question
My parents have been separated for the past 4 years. Me and my three siblings live with our mother. And my father takes no part in anything at all (except for sending some eatables or absolutely useless things once a month or so). Neither do we want him to, honestly. None of us has any feelings whatsoever left for him. the only reason being the fact that he’s basically not a good man. Not a good father, he was never a good husband. Not at all a good human being. But he does call us every other weekend, invites us at his place, or for dinner somewhere. bla.
We have decided to go see him once every month. Coz no matter what, he is after all our father. But the thing is that his means of earning money are not lawful. So, the thing is that I do not want to eat or use anything that he sends or offers. And the only way I can do that is never see him again. So, I don’t know what to do coz if i go there i have to eat out of unlawfully earned things. And if I don’t, I would have to deny seeing him forever. And, whatever the man he is, I think it my duty to see him at least once a month, as decided. And I can’t just go see him and not eat or whatever. Coz I wouldn’t know how to refuse. And I’m not the sort of person who would say the sort of things or anything for that matter so bluntly. Please, try and help me out of this confusion.
Thanks
Answer
Your situation is regrettably unfortunate, though I applaud you for at least having the courtesy to recognize your father’s position. Nevertheless, this regards eating something he offers you. The foods that are forbidden in Islam are clearly mentioned in the Qur’an and the process by which some things become unlawful for consumption are mentioned also. There is nothing in the Shari’ah (i.e. Islamic Law) that would make food prohibited because of the means it was purchased with. Eating this food does not mean you are partaking in your father’s unscrupulous income. You also cannot be blamed for feasting on food that is bought with “dirty” money. Your father will have to face the consequences of his guilt, you have nothing to do with them. Philosophically speaking, one may resist indulging in anything that may have come from a dishonorable source, yet this would only be a personal choice. The Shari’ah does not extend itself to such things. If this situation, however, proves to cause you anxiety then you may want to buy your own food and maybe even explain to your father your objections. Of course you should be at your gentlest and help him understand your position. Whatever you decide make sure to take God’s name with the food that you eat; it is a blessing and a show of gratefulness.
I hope this helps.
God knows best.