Soon after our marriage 25 years ago, my wife committed adultery. This only came to my attention in the last 6 weeks. I have read several extracts from Quran & Hadith. We have 3 grown up children, i am not sure how to resolve this delima.
Below is material i found on one of the web site.
Allah accepts the repentance of those who do evil in ignorance and repent soon afterwards; to them will Allah turn in mercy; for Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom.
Of no effect is the repentance of those who continue to do evil until death faces one of them and he says ‘Now have I repented indeed’; nor of those who die rejecting faith; for them have we prepared a punishment most grievous”. (4:17-18)
The verses cited are related to God administering His judgment upon the sin and the individual’s behavior thereafter. The Almighty decides, based on His divine wisdom, whether the individual deserves justice or mercy. Thus, we should leave to God His will and deal with our situations with the best possible judgment we can make and sound reasoning. The best advice that can be given in such a delicate case is that you have a discussion with your wife about the matter. Listen to her and understand her. Try not to jump to conclusions or make decisions that you may regret. You must keep in mind that you might be at a heightened emotional state and the ability to rationalize could be diminished. Seeking professional help may also be worthy. We are frail beings full of mistakes and it takes a tremendous amount of humility to be forgiving. Understanding this may help you realize hwo she may have fallen into error, regardless of the magnitude. Pray on this matter and guard against impatience. Ask God to help you and be there for you in your weakest moments. May God guide you through these difficult time. You are in my prayers.
I must stress the point that whatever decision you make is your right but does not relate to religion. You have to decide if you can completely live with your wife without holding a grudge against her for the rest of your and her life.
Please see this response that may be relevant to your matter: If the Wife Commits Adultery?
I hope this helps.
God knows best.