Go a little further with Jordan Bardella: “For a national policy on first and last names”
A satire by Jamal Mimouni
I note that some have caricatured my comments on first names, particularly concerning the ban once in power, to no longer accept that parents can name their newborns Mohammed. However, my approach is simple: a nation must know who it is. A civilization that no longer knows how to name ends up no longer knowing where it lives and becomes prey to the great replacement.
I will therefore clarify my thoughts and present a global policy. Indeed, it would not be coherent to question only the acceptability of the first name Mohammed. If we consider that first names convey a history, a culture and a collective imagination, then we must have the courage to follow through with the reflection. France was built in part on the epic of Charles Martel who, we never stop reminding him, beat the Arabs at Poitiers. It can not be helped. This is France, love it or leave it.
So, Leïla should become Lila, Yasmina should become Jasmine. For the boys, Ahmed should become Aimé since they love their Prophet so much, Youssef could become Joseph, Ali become Alain, Rachid become Richard, and Samir become Samy. Fatima or Fatima could perhaps be subject to a small exception, since Our Lady of Fátima, in Portugal, is a saint and we all consider Christian historical heritage to be an integral part of what defines France. We will agree that other names will be more difficult to Frenchify, such as Khadidja, Zineb, Boubaker or Mamadou, but with a little good will and imagination, there are solutions.
I also want to reassure those who accuse me of discrimination. The reform will concern everyone. Antonio should become Antoine again, Mickaël should return to his more traditional form of Michel. Kevin will become Kevin. Dylan will be able to choose between Didier and Dylan. Jason will be invited to adopt a spelling more in line with our national traditions, for example Jaison or Jean-Son. Finally Jordan should rename himself Jourdain.
Some will find these proposals radical. On the contrary, I consider them moderate, because I am a man of compromise. Besides, I am not closed to certain exceptions. Schwarzenegger, for example, represents a special case. Certainly, this name contains more consonants than the average authorized by the future Ministry of Happy Francophonie, but it still contributed to the global dissemination of essential values: biceps, action cinema and the free market. A commission will therefore be able to examine his file and propose compromises.
Other names also raise questions. I am thinking in particular of Zemmour, among others. I have nothing against the people involved, but finally, if we want to be consistent, we must be consistent to the end. You cannot explain all day that names are a civilizational issue and suddenly discover the virtues of multiculturalism when it comes to your own surname. I am therefore in favor of a balanced solution where the name Zemmour could be maintained on a provisional basis, subject to an in-depth study, although several avenues could be considered: Zémur, Desmurs.
However, no one can deny the integration efforts made, especially not me, and I am therefore in favor of a transitional period for certain names. Let’s take the example of Sarkozy, who does not exactly correspond to national standards. Sarkozy could remain Sarkozy, even keeping the “y” at the end, although a final “i” would be much better, provided that everyone makes the effort to pronounce it with a slight Corrèze accent.
Today, when a teacher makes the roll call in a class, he or she sometimes has to mentally travel across four continents before arriving at the next name. No major world power can operate under such conditions. France must regain its energy, industrial and certainly orthographic and phonetic sovereignty.
Moreover, in the same spirit, we will have to harmonize regional first names. The Bretons will be entitled to a reasonable quota of Gwenaël and Ronan, but beyond three consecutive consonants, they will have to contact the Patronymic and First Name Standardization Commission of their department. The Corsicans will keep their first names, but only after validation by a committee made up of two teachers, a rural mayor and a grandmother from Corrèze.
It is a question of coherence and readability, even of national dignity.
Once again, it is not a question of stigmatizing anyone, but of applying the same principles to everyone and restoring a little order. Borrowing from modern physics the concept of entropy relating to the amount of disorder in a system, I would say that entropy is the enemy of civilization, and that is why order must be defended with energy and, when necessary, by decree. v
