Self-esteem in the light of the Quran and prophetic tradition

There are many Quranic Verses and Hadiths from the prophet which encourage the believer to suspect his ego, or even to accuse him without even giving him the benefit of the presumption of innocence, because the ego orders and incites evil. The Most High says in Surah 12, Verse 53:

“ However, I am not innocent, because the ego is very inciting to evil “.

And the Prophet (Saws) said: “ The sagacious is the one who continually questions his ego and works to prepare his future after death “.

Thus, the believer is encouraged to practice the examination of his conscience in order to identify and analyze his faults, and consequently to discover the faults of which they are the expression, such as boasting and pride which spoil his good works and expose him to divine wrath.

God recalls, on this subject, the example of Satan who, refusing to obey His order to prostrate himself before Adam, just kneaded with clay and emerging from nothingness, justifies his disobedience thus: “ I (I) am better than him: You created me from fire, while You created him from clay »¹.

His proud attitude immediately exposed him to punishment: “ Get down from here, you don’t have to be proud here », ordered the Almighty. Likewise, the Koran tells us the story of the man who, proud of his possessions and his clan, boasted to his brother, saying to him: “ I (I) own more property than you, and I am more powerful than you thanks to my clan »². The divine punishment was final, “ And his harvest was destroyed »³.

In reference to these Koranic texts, the famous Arabic expression “ Ana wa aoudo bi Llahi mine qawlate ana (Me, and God preserve me from saying this (Me))” takes on its full meaning. But, what about the words of the prophet – may the peace and blessings of God be upon him: “ I am the best of Adam’s sons; I say it without pretension » ? Or that of the prophet Joseph who, speaking of himself with great confidence, declares in verse 55 of Sura 12: “ Assign me the deposits of the territory: I am a good guardian and knowledgeable » ?

Could a Muslim esteem and speak about himself with such confidence? Could he display good self-esteem without being proud? Does Islam, through its teachings, promote the development of good self-esteem?

The sayings of the prophets of God, who remain examples for all humanity, reported above, clearly answer “Yes”. Yes, the Muslim, walking towards his Lord, can display and develop his self-esteem as well as practice self-examination to reduce his proud and self-satisfied ego.

Give yourself a value

Valuing oneself is a fundamental human need, and its appropriate satisfaction contributes significantly to one’s well-being. Thus, the Perfect Knowledge of what He has created informs and never ceases to remind it of its value, throughout His Holy Book: “ When your Lord confided to the angels: (I will establish on earth a vicar (Khalifa)) »⁴.

Man is therefore His “Khalifa (lieutenant)” on this earth. Also, it is before him that the angels of the Most High, creatures of light and infallible worshipers, prostrated themselves. “ And when we asked the angels to bow down to Adam, they bowed down except Satan who refused, became proud and was among the unbelievers »⁵. As weak as he seems, man then takes a preponderant place among God’s creatures. What beautiful words were those of Imam Ali Ibn Abi Ttalib about him:

انطَوَى العالمُ الأكبرُ ٌ

“ You believe that you are only a small star, while the entire universe resides within you »

However, Islam is not content only with informing man of his value, because this cannot be sufficient to provide a solid feeling of it, It also offers him the keys to reuniting with himself, and accompanies him on a well-marked path towards his accomplishment, taking into account all the aspects constituting his being.

In this article, I will report texts as well as actions of the prophet of Islam which underline the favorable and constitutive elements of good self-esteem, namely the feeling of belonging, self-knowledge, affirmation of self and self-confidence.

The feeling of belonging

The Most High says: “ O you who believe! Fear God and be with the truthful »⁶.

Being with your brothers and sisters helps to strengthen or rebuild the feeling of belonging. This is not a constraint or even an authoritarian mark of the collective on the individual, but rather it is a source of solidarity and support in the obstacles encountered, of shared identity and an assurance of acceptance of what he is.

“ The believer is for the believer like the building of which one part supports the other” “Everything that belongs to the Muslim is prohibited to the Muslim brother: his blood, his goods and his dignity »⁷said the Prophet Muhammad – peace and blessings of God be upon him.

Self-knowledge

Having good self-esteem also means that one has a clear awareness of the real extent of one’s qualities, capabilities and limits. At this level, as shown in the hadith of the Prophet “ The believer is the mirror of the believer »⁸the believer remains, for his brother, an instrument which allows him the progressive acquisition of a clear and authentic vision of himself. “ You own two qualities loved by God: “Leniency and patience »⁹ the Prophet once said to Ashaj ‘Abd al-Qays.

Similarly, Abu Dar reported that one day he said to the Prophet: “O Prophet, why do you not use me? He patted him on the shoulders and said: O Aba Dar! You are weak and this is an unfortunate responsibility on the day of judgment, except for those who have seriously apprehended and honored their dues. »¹⁰. Just words which allowed each of the companions to see themselves and to look at themselves in the mirror offered to them by the prophet of Islam. And at the same time, he warned them against these deceptive mirrors, where the false is made to appear with a certain brilliance.

He then said in a hadith: “ When you see praisers, throw dirt in their faces »¹¹. Indeed, the praisers fuel the lie with their praise and condemn their victims to a dependence on the approval of others, by yielding their minds and their values to their desires alone. The result is that the individual lets it appear on the outside that he is not in truth, which provokes a feeling of deceit. The “Tartuffe” then waits with anxiety and apprehension for his imposture to be discovered. Hence the prophetic word: “ Truthfulness brings tranquility and lies make one live in apprehension »¹².

Self-affirmation

Dependence on the opinions of others is opposed to autonomy and self-affirmation. One of the clearest forms of this is his naked power to say “no” when others unfairly say “yes”. In other words, belonging to the group of believers does not prevent belonging to oneself, otherwise it rather becomes synonymous with alienation.

The prophet said: “None of you should be a puppet who says: ‘I am with people, if they do good, I do it and if they do bad I do it too.’ On the contrary, be determined and position yourself well: if people act well, act well like them, and if they act badly, do not do injustice by following them.¹³.

Acting in this way, the Muslim remains faithful to what he is and does not deny himself, which gives him deep satisfaction and internal security.

Self-confidence

It is closely linked to action and refers to the degree of confidence that the individual has in their abilities to take action. It is the result of an accumulation of positive experiences and actions undertaken successfully. Hence the encouragement of the Muslim to act. The Most High says: “ And say: (Work, for God will see your work, as will His Messenger and the believers »¹⁴.

A man came to ask for alms from the Prophet Mohamed, the latter instead directed him towards action. For this, he helped him sell something he owned at home, encouraged him to buy a rope, an ax to collect wood and sell it in the Medina market. This man is successful and accomplished. Knowing the human soul and its weaknesses, the prophet was able to support him in this difficulty which consists of taking action, allowing him to become financially independent and to strengthen confidence in his abilities to face challenges. and the difficulties of life.

Wasn’t it him who said: “ Hands up (referring to the one who gives) is better than low hand (the one who receives) »¹⁵. May the peace and blessings of God be upon Mohamed. Indeed a “ low hand » can only be indicative of low self-esteem, at the same time, a “ high hand » is a source of high self-esteem. This is why God describes His worshipers like this: “ The needy whom the ignorant believe to be rich because they do not bother anyone by begging »¹⁶out of consideration for what they are: the worshipers of the Rich.

Acting and experimenting also means taking the risk of making mistakes, failing or losing. This explains why some people, out of apprehension, prefer inaction and therefore continue to live with low self-confidence. The prophet Mohamed – peace and blessing of God upon him – did not fail to reassure them of their intrinsic value by recalling that “ Every human being makes mistakes, and (that) the best of these wrongdoers are those who continually repent. »¹⁷.

Far from promoting a self-satisfied and proud ego, the teachings of Islam offer Muslims the means to build their self-esteem on solid foundations and to achieve self-fulfilment, while respecting the balance between all dimensions. of his being. A balance that guarantees his well-being and a good life. This will, however, depend on the meeting of three conditions. Let us, first of all, be truthful both with ourselves and with others.

The coherence between one’s background and one’s appearance provides tranquility and inner security, and consequently a good self-image. Then, let his gaze not be turned away from the truthful believers, because among these, the Muslim learns to know himself better; He is also loved by God, supported and his value is recognized. Finally, may we be accompanied by Men of knowledge, as was the man begging by the prophet of Islam, peace and blessings of God on the beloved Mohamed.

Thanks to such support, Muslims find support to overcome their obstacles, learn to accept their limits with kindness while making efforts to overcome them and build healthy relationships with others, respecting both their uniqueness and that of others. .

Notes:

1 V12/S7

2 V34/S18

3 V42/S18

4 V30/S1

5 V34/S1

6 V119/S9

7Reported by Muslim and Attirmidhi

8 Reported by Abû Dâwoud

9 Narrated by Muslim

10 Narrated by Muslim

11 Narrated by Muslim